How to Choose a Divorce Lawyer

July 3, 2019

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March 27, 2020

Financial uncertainty. Fear and anxiety. Worrying about what the future will bring.

These are all familiar experiences for people going through a divorce.

With the COVID-19 pandemic, they are becoming familiar to almost all of us.

Most people, if they are lucky, experience only a few earth-shaking events in their lifetime. A life-threatening diagnosis. The sudden and unexpected loss of a career. A divorce. On the surface, these events can simply seem bad—something to be gotten through--with an eye toward returning to “normal” as quickly as possible.

It’s been my experience, that in our rush to return to normal, we can miss the precious gifts that come only from such challenging circumstances.

When I was...

March 13, 2019

The process of negotiating and entering into prenuptial agreements often puts toxic stress on an imminent marriage, just when the focus should be on the hopes, dreams and love of the couple. Furthermore, the terms of most prenuptial agreements often continue to stress the marriage long after the wedding bells have rung. Consciously mediating prenuptial agreements can provide appropriate protections to the person seeking the agreement, while reducing the damage to the marriage a lopsided agreement can cause.

As Laurie Israel points out in her article The Benefits of Prenuptial Agreement Mediation

"The negotiations between the two lawyers involved in the prenup can be quite painful for the couple.  . ....

February 14, 2019

A conscious marriage is one between people who: (1) have a particular interest in understanding how they and others tick, are motivated, and find meaning; (2) engage in that exploration in order to show up in a more genuine, self-expressed, compassionate and vulnerable way; and (3) are willing to take responsibility for their own actions and reactions; for getting clear about their values and living in accordance with those values; for honoring themselves and others; and for generating deeper connection with others.

The characteristics of people in a conscious marriage reflect an underlying desire to grow: toward greater integration, self-expression, self-responsibility, compassion, empathy, power,...

February 8, 2018

[Originally published in the February 2018 Boulder County Bar Association newsletter]

Whenever I try look for universal rules regarding mediation, I end up circling back to the thing I love most about being a mediator: that mediation is truly an art, not a science. It’s an art because, as much as my lawyer brain wants to categorize the process into a set of predictable behaviors and principles, mediation eludes such reductions. I see this in my attempts to formulate a consistent definition of mediator neutrality.

Treatises about mediation invariably discuss the importance of a “neutral” and “impartial” mediator. The presentation of the mediator as neutral is a major aspect of what lends mediation leg...

June 15, 2017

As a business owner today, you are constantly adapting to change, while also looking to boost productivity and minimize risk and expenses.  Divorce may be a huge hidden drain on your  bottom line that few are talking about.  And yet it’s true that 30-50% of your married employees are destined to go through a divorce.  

And divorce can have a big impact on workforce productivity.

As business owners we care about our employees. We offer paid time off, health benefits, retirement support and in-house amenities to support their happiness and productivity. But when it comes to employees going through divorce, support can often be lacking. Divorces can be messy, complicated, and toxic,...

April 20, 2017

Many people are aligned in principle with mediating their divorces, wanting to avoid the conflict and expense of lawyering up and litigating. But some wonder if they engage in mediation, who will have their back? The “neutral” and “impartial” mediator can’t do it can he? What if the other party starts getting aggressive and digs in? How will you know if you’re getting a bad deal?

While it is true that mediators are generally required to remain impartial and neutral—and do not represent either party—this does not mean they cannot support each party in understanding, expressing, and achieving his or her interests in a mediation.

First, the fact that mediators are supposed to remain neutral does not mea...

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