How to Choose a Divorce Lawyer

July 3, 2019

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April 22, 2019

Co-parenting with an ex-spouse can be tremendously challenging, even under the best of circumstances.  I have been doing it myself now for about six years, and as a family law attorney and mediator, I’ve seen a full spectrum of co-parenting relationships from genuinely amicable and supportive, to destructive and even toxic.  Most tend to fall somewhere in the middle, as does mine, but it has been at times a trial by fire type of situation. What I have come to appreciate, though, first by going through my own divorce with limited professional help or the benefit of a family law background, then by helping to guide couples as they go through divorce as a family law attorney and mediator, is the value...

October 15, 2018

Just as many people take for granted that their marriage will stay strong regardless of how much attention they pay to their love bond, they tend to approach divorce without any thought of how they should go about it, or how that matters.

It does matter.

Because while you may be ending a physical relationship, the emotional relationship will continue to exist in your mental life. And if you have children, you are not really ending a relationship anyway, but simply transitioning into a relationship as “co-parents.”

No matter what kind of relationship you have, the best way to transition out of it is to do it cleanly. 

"Keeping it clean" has two aspects:

Don’t Hide Things

The first part of keeping it clean...

September 21, 2018

Consider this: if you pursue your divorce with any vengeance or spite, you are harming primarily yourself. You are doing almost certain wounding to your heart and psyche, and the wounding will stay especially fresh (or worsen unimaginably) if you have kids.

It’s like tearing or cutting your hair out violently because it’s tangled in the comb, instead of calmly disentangling it.

Disentangling lives is not so unlike disentangling hair.

But is it possible to stay calm in divorce? Often people don’t get the help they need to stay calm and to feel safe through a divorce process.

They certainly don’t feel calm and safe working through court forms at the kitchen table with the other half of their collapsing p...

Generally speaking, a divorce is going to go one of two ways, and you get to choose.

February 8, 2018

[Originally published in the February 2018 Boulder County Bar Association newsletter]

Whenever I try look for universal rules regarding mediation, I end up circling back to the thing I love most about being a mediator: that mediation is truly an art, not a science. It’s an art because, as much as my lawyer brain wants to categorize the process into a set of predictable behaviors and principles, mediation eludes such reductions. I see this in my attempts to formulate a consistent definition of mediator neutrality.

Treatises about mediation invariably discuss the importance of a “neutral” and “impartial” mediator. The presentation of the mediator as neutral is a major aspect of what lends mediation leg...

Divorce is a rite of passage for many people in our culture. While any such passage has challenges, divorce doesn't have to be traumatic and damaging. It can be a transformational event, as described by mediation participant Lauren. 

Please share this video with anyone facing divorce or legal separation. It offers a glimpse of what is possible.

Peter Fabish and John Hoelle are the co-founders of Conscious Family Law & Mediation LLC, offering collaborative divorce mediation, or legal representation with strength and integrity, in metro Denver/Boulder, Colorado.

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Conscious Family Law & Mediation LLC currently serves the legal needs of all Colorado residents (including same-sex and other alternative families), and in-person clients in Boulder County, Denver County, Broomfield County, Larimer County, Adams County, Weld County, and Jefferson County.