The Best Mediation Divorce Checklist For 2024

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A mediation divorce checklist helps make the process of mediation smoother and less stressful for couples that have decided to divorce.

Divorce mediation offers a more cordial alternative than litigation to divorcing couples. A mediation works toward building a consensus between the parties so that the divorce is amicably settled and each party is satisfied with the outcomes.

An independent third party, usually involving attorneys and psychologists, serves as a mediator. The mediator does not work for either party in the divorce. As a result, the mediator has interests of both the parties in mind when executing a mediation and reaching a settlement.

Mediation provides a neutral ground for couples to discuss different aspects about the divorce and how they would like their concerns regarding assets, children, or other, to be addressed. A mediation does not require couples to visit the court several times to let their needs known.

Mediation is a quicker and more informal when compared to a litigation. The expenses and stress involved are also lesser.  

A mediation is often preferred over a litigation because it aims to bring an amicable settlement without compromising either party’s interests. As the mediator is not required to represent a single party’s interests, the results of a mediation can be a truly positive experience for couples.

Why Have A Mediation Divorce Checklist?

A mediation divorce checklist is important because it keeps you well-informed and prepared for the process. With an effective checklist, you can reduce the costs and emotional stress associated with a mediation.

It is important to be aware about how to prepare yourself for a mediation process. Here we provide a checklist that describes the elements discussed in a mediation. With this checklist, you can equip yourself with all the documents essential to the process. You can also be mentally better prepared about the issues and concerns you may want to discuss during mediation.

When you are better prepared, you will be emotionally less stressed, which reduces chances of unwanted disputes during the process. Such disruptions are not only stressful but also prolong the process.

With an effective mediation divorce checklist, you can increase the chances of making the mediation a success.

What Constitutes The Best Mediation Divorce Checklist?

A mediation checklist is effective only when it is prepared in a thorough and well-informed manner. 

Given here are crucial aspects that constitute an actionable mediation checklist.

Choose your Divorce Mediator with Great Care

If you want your mediation to be successful, you have to hire a mediator skilled at the job. The search for a mediator usually involves your spouse as well. So, reach an understanding beforehand to make the process smooth.

Go for referrals from friends and family members. Some good places to start your mediator search include the directory, your local courthouse, and bar association.

When choosing a mediator, consider going for a candidate that is also a divorce lawyer. A mediation involves discussions about legal aspects and financial matters. A candidate proficient in these aspects can lead the mediation in an informed and constructive manner. When shortlisting mediator candidates, check if they are a licensed divorce attorney.

It is always preferable to go for a local Boulder, Colorado mediation divorce lawyer than one from another state or county. A local lawyer will be more knowledgeable of the jurisdiction and the way divorce laws apply locally. It is easy to cross-check the references of a local lawyer. You can also reach a local lawyer faster.

It is also important to know if the mediator will also process your divorce. If yes, then find out if the price quoted involves only mediation or the divorce process as well. Check the pricing structure of the services. Mediators may go for hour-based charges or a flat fee.

Be sure to check the service chart to know what you are paying for exactly. Some mediation services may offer extra services such as counseling and financial planning, which you may not require. 

Without a proper knowledge of the services involved, you may end up paying extra for something that you do not need.

Prepare your Finances as well as your Mind

A mediation requires pre-planning of finances. A professional and successful mediator can charge a few thousands. The total cost is usually shared by the couple involved in the divorce. Check your finances to know how you can prepare your payment for the service.

If you are not in a position to make the required payment, then consider taking a credit card debt. You could also use some amount of your retirement or emergency fund. If all options fail, you can ask your mediator for suggestions on financing options.

Going for mediation does not mean that you are going to get all you want, or all that you feel you are entitled to. Mediation is an amicable settlement process. So, be prepared to be flexible about some aspects even though the result may not be what you desired.

For the best results, make a list of your needs and wants. Go into the mediation process with an open mind. This means, you can expect all your basic needs to be addressed and a few of your wants to be realized.

Prepare yourself emotionally too. Resolve to not let advertent or inadvertent comments during the process bother you.

You may also want to talk to your spouse beforehand to reach an understanding about certain aspects, if possible. For example, you may have an agreement on who keeps the car or how child custody should be planned. If you reach an agreement on certain aspects beforehand, then mediation can be smoother and less costly.

Ask your Mediator about the Process

Get an outline of the mediation process from your mediator. A lot of paperwork goes into a divorce process. Talk to your mediator about the documents you would need to bring so that the process becomes faster and more constructive.

Understand the timeline. Ask your mediator about the timeline estimate of the entire process. This should include time for filing initial divorce forms.

Prioritize the elements that you would want to focus first during mediation. For example, paying your daily bills may take precedence over dividing expensive artwork assets.

Organize your Asset-Liability Information

Develop a detailed list of assets and liabilities each of you owns and owes. Since mediation consists mainly of dividing assets and debts, having a well-prepared list eases the process.

Include the following in your asset list:

  • Identity and employment details. Give your name, job, annual income, contact details, and marriage date. Your spouse prepares his/ her own copy of these details. Include a copy of your marriage certificate as well.

  • Estimated value of properties such as home(s), jewelry, antique objects, art, and other items that of substantial worth.

If you are unable to estimate the value of a specific object, then you may have to hire a specialist for appraisal and value assessment.

The latest market value of any real estate property that you may own, including land and vacation homes.

  • The value of any businesses that both or either of you may own. 

  • Current balance statement pertaining to each of your bank accounts.

  • Up-to-date balance statement of investments, bonds and stocks in your and that of your spouse’s name.

  • The latest account statements of accounts related to your children. If you have more than one child, include account details of each child.

  • In case of a vehicle, include the make, model and year of the vehicle. Include also the confidential fair market value of the vehicle as quoted in the Kelley Blue Book. This is crucial as the vehicle value is decided and divided based on this value.

  • Up-to-date statement related to any pension or retirement plans.

  • Statements related to employment benefits. This includes cash incentives and stocks.

  • Copies of pay stubs or other statements of both your incomes.  

  • Your debt/ liability list must include the following details:

  • Latest credit card statements.

  • Statements pertaining to unpaid loans.

  • Any verbal agreement on repayment of loans that puts one or both of you as creditor(s).

  • Pending lawsuits that list either spouse or both as plaintiffs. 

  • Latest vehicle loan statements.

  • Latest student loan statements.

  • Details and statements pertaining to mortgages and home loans.

  • Details of debt owed on any other property that your spouse or you own.

  • Statements pertaining to private loans. These may be written documents or verbal agreements listing your spouse or you as debtors.

Other financial statements:

  • Life insurance policy details held by your spouse or you. Typically, a copy of the information page of the policy is used during mediation. 

  • Details of any disability policy owned by your spouse or you.

  • Photocopies of tax statements. In case you own a business, copies of the preceding 3 years of corporate tax returns are required. In other cases, copies of state and federal tax returns dating back to 3 years are required.

  • Photocopies of documents related to any trusts.

  • Copies of any marital contracts such as prenuptial or post-nuptial agreements.  

  • Copies of any wills created in the course of the marriage.

Be Prepared to Discuss Parental Responsibility and Custody Arrangements

When discussing about custody and parental arrangements, ensure that you choose arrangements that address your children’s needs. It is important to base your decisions around your children’s needs so that they, and you too, are happy in the future.

Discuss the following elements during mediation:

  1. Legal custody of the child – This refers to the assignment of a parent as the decision-maker for major aspects of the child’s life, including education, religion and health.

  2. Physical custody- This refers to the presence of the child physically with each of the parents. Aspects such as spending time during weekends, weekdays, vacation and birthdays, are decided during physical custody discussion.

  3. Communication – This discussion determines the permitted communication methods between parents and children.

  4. Child support – Aspects such as the amount, duration and method of child support, are discussed. Issues such as children’s health insurance, education and non-education expenses, and life insurance beneficiaries, are also discussed.

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Do not Delay your First Divorce Mediation

If your spouse and you have decided to divorce, then arranging for a mediation promptly is the first right step toward ensuring an amicable process. Mediation can help you address issues that could become a problem later. By addressing problems at their nascent stage, you are making your divorce a less stressful event for both your children and yourselves.

Avoid using your mediation as a method to gain unfair advantage over your spouse. If you are using mediation to get a major asset settlement or to avoid alimony payments, then you are wrong. A good mediator explains at the outset itself about what is fair and what is not, in a mediation.

A good divorce mediator resolves contentious issues with solutions that are favorable to both the spouses. 

A mediation, though faster, may not end with a single session. Be prepared to have multiple sessions. To be successful, remember throughout that litigation’s can cost several thousands and take years to give results. A mediation saves you these expenses and the mental stress of having to visit the courtroom multiple times.

Go through the Mediation Agreement Carefully

Once you have discussed all aspects pertaining to your divorce, an agreement is drawn by the mediator. It details the decisions that both of you have agreed to, during the mediation process. This settlement agreement becomes effective once you sign it. You cannot make changes thereafter. 

Non-compliance with mediation settlement can make you legally liable on the grounds of violation of law. You can be sentenced to imprisonment too.

So, review the agreement before signing it. Check if all your requirements have been mentioned as agreed upon, during the mediation.

Stick to your Mediation Settlement

Once you sign the settlement, ensure that you stick to your share of responsibilities as agreed upon, during mediation. Start right away by making a checklist of what your spouse and you would start with, immediately. This checklist can help you be on the right track.

Attend to tasks that come with a deadline, faster. You may not be able to address them due to events such as a job loss or market value fluctuations. You may be charged with contempt of court following your failure to stick to your settlement. So, address your deadlines as soon as possible.  

Got Questions? Contact Us Today!

A mediation divorce checklist is an effective start to a smooth mediation process. With a well-prepared checklist, couples gain greater control over mediation outcomes.

A divorce is physically and emotionally stressful. A mediation can add to the stress enormously as it is a demanding process. With a mediation checklist or with the help of a mediation divorce attorney, you will be emotionally better prepared to face the process and make it a success.

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The Collaborative Divorce Process

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The Choice To Heal