You are facing divorce. This may be one of the biggest challenges you will ever go through. You are trying to chart a new course for your whole life, while simultaneously engaging in an emotional and legal struggle with the person who used to be your life’s partner.

Because of the often-intense stresses of divorce, you may not be at your peak ability to make important decisions or consider long-term consequences and goals as you go through it. Like many others, you may enter divorce with minimal knowledge of the law, your rights, and obligations, or the ins and outs of navigating the legal system. For these and other reasons, you could potentially be vulnerable to bad advice, unskillful or even unscrupulous professionals.

What you need instead is a representative who has the knowledge and experience to guide you skillfully; has the maturity to remain objective and stay grounded in reality; and has the integrity to tell you the truth. With all of this in mind, we’d like offer the following comparison of the conventional and conscious lawyer.​

The Difference of a Conscious Lawyer

One major difference that results from hiring a conscious lawyer, is that conscious lawyers are working hardest when they are trying to settle your case. Conscious lawyers reach mature resolution of issues, and settle more cases. Lawyers who simply rely on their law school training take every issue to Mommy and Daddy Judge.

A conventional lawyer isn’t doing a better job for his client by being “a bulldog.” Being a bulldog often means doing real harm to a family system. Conscious lawyers don’t go in guns blazing, destroying any hope of co-parenting after the divorce is done.

Conscious lawyers don’t avoid or fear conflict, nor do they cave in to pressure from bulldog attorneys. A conscious lawyer is applying judo moves to find a mature resolution even in the face of a bulldog. The conscious lawyer’s maturity and wisdom finds the right move to get past the obstacles and reach a conclusion that works.

In the courtroom? Judges can feel the integrity of a conscious lawyer, and they know what to expect from the bulldog. Integrity carries the day every time, because the conscious lawyer won’t even try to bring frivolous arguments in front of the judge.

Divorce is full of tough decisions and delicate issues. Conventional lawyers and Conscious lawyers are often doing completely different things for you, that will have impacts on your life long after the divorce is over.

Be careful who you hire as your attorney.

John Hoelle and Peter Fabish are Co-Founders of Conscious Family™ Law & Mediation, offering collaborative divorce mediation, or legal representation with strength and integrity, in metro Denver/Boulder, Colorado.